The Most Important Relationship

Society encourages us to believe that until we find and connect with our soul mate that we will never be truly happy. But there is one relationship which is ultimately more important. That is the relationship you have with yourself.

What does that mean exactly?

The people in our life are important – both those we like and those we don’t. The ones we do like and love – reflect this back at us. We feel good in their company, we laugh and love and feel wanted. These people in our lives are like a part of us, and indeed they are. They reflect back at us what we like about ourselves.

The people we don’t like – are really just reflections too. They are of a part of us that we don’t like – often over exaggerated (to get our attention of course).

For example, if you have a friend that is really tight with money – always last to pay for the drinks or working out their share of the bill to the last penny. They reflect an exaggerated part of you that is also like this. You are attached to money – you give it meaning and emotional context when the reality is it is simply something to receive and to give. It is nothing more than metal and pieces of paper. You can’t breathe or drink it.

The life lesson here isn’t that you should necessarily always pay for the drinks! :) It just means that you don’t need to have an emotional attachment to it. The person who is tight with money is showing you (to extremes) how they emotionally believe there is not enough money in this world for them… so they have to hold on to it. There is a part of you that also believes this and the person you ‘don’t like’ shows you this – so you can let go of this attachment.

Just You

So let’s just say that the relationships in our world reflect the great and not so great parts of us – helping us to learn (should we choose to see it that way) about life. Helping us to evolve and become more aware of the big picture of life.

However if all these people were to suddenly leave your life – ie there was no one in this world but you – what would that mean to you. What would be your relationship with yourself?

Would you try to run away – refusing to accept that there was no longer any others (reflections) to distract you from facing this truth? Would you feel isolated and alone – filled with fear and anxiety that you have no one to turn to?

Or would you accept that ultimately this relationship is the only real one you have. And it is your choice to develop it further. To encourage it to be solid, secure and the most important one in your life. You know the bits of you that you like, and you know the bits of you that you don’t like… the bits you don’t yet accept and are trying to ‘evolve’ and change. You don’t need anyone in your life to reflect this back at you. You can already be aware of this.

Beautiful Journey

The relationship with the self is one of the most challenging yet beautiful to develop. It doesn’t mean that you need to become a hermit and leave everyone behind. It means that you know yourself – warts and all – so well and so truthfully that nothing can deny it. Not the actions or words of others, not the challenges of life.

Once the realisation sets in that it is you who chooses how you feel about your life – which the thoughts are yours and the feelings are yours… you consciously start to evolve.

Some people use meditation to increase this awareness – but whatever you do, you can simply start to recognise the state of the relationship you have with yourself and then choose to help it evolve. You realise that no matter what goes on – you choose. This is the start of a realisation that the most important relationship is knowing and being you. Accepting you completely. Then you can truly be happy.