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Choosing to Change

Changing the way you think and feel - some helpful tips

When you think of change, you might feel a tightness in your stomach and a sense of trepidation. Or perhaps you are desperate for change but feel so overwhelmed and do not know where to start?

Change is a constant force in your life - from the way your body changes as it processes food and water to the weather and the change of seasons. How to accept and flow with change is the key and these simple tips will help you to do this.

Write it Down

Whilst there are times when we must honour our feelings about what makes us sad or upset, once this initial wave of emotion has passed, we can choose to think and feel differently.

When faced with a difficult situation where your thoughts and emotions are busy or feel heavy, try to stay in the moment. Acknowledge those feelings and accept this moment.

One of the best ways to manage those times is to write down what you are thinking and/or feeling. Just write, and write and write. Try not to re-read it and if you can, find a safe way to burn it or simply shred it. If you cannot get started, then write a letter to the person who you feel unhappy with or write the letter to yourself if that helps.

Acknowledge how you feel

There is no point in trying to pretend and push difficult feelings away. Our bodies have a way of showing us how to release this - it is called crying. If you can cry, then do it. If you cannot cry then find a way to let it out - through activity like running or walking or just jumping up and down. Let it all out.

Your personal mantra

Now mentally start to tell yourself "this moment will pass" and repeat it again and again. Remind yourself that life is ever changing. By repeating this to yourself you start to acknowledge that how you feel and think in this moment is not how you will feel and think later that day or the next day or the next month.

It helps if you can just close your eyes, focus on your breath and as you breathe in just sense those words "this moment will pass" moving in with the breath and any tension moving out as you breathe out.

Do Something Different

One of the fears people have about change is that if they behave or do something different then they will not be able to recognise themselves. I heard of someone who could not stop drinking tea (even though she knew it was bad for her) due to the caffeine intake of her daily 10 cups of tea. Then one day she realised that she had an emotional attachment to drinking tea. Her family were a bunch of 'tea drinkers' and would always have a cup of tea in the event of any family gathering. The person felt that if she stopped drinking tea, then she would no longer be part of the family.

When she realised her attachment, she decided to change step by step. A fruit tea here, a glass of water there. She has not stopped drinking tea completely but she now chooses when and if she wants to drink tea.

Choose your Response

Learning how to meditate is a good way to help you choose your response. We can often feel at the mercy of our emotions and thoughts yet we have the power to change and choose them. When you learn to meditate, you learn to focus and relax. As you relax, you become aware of how you respond and when. As you acknowledge these situations and feelings, you learn how to accept those feelings and thoughts and move beyond them.

The next time you think or feel like responding to something/someone in a negative way, place the tip of your thumb and index (first) finger together on each hand and just focus on your breath for a moment. Watch what happens and see if you feel different or respond differently. This is a meditation method that helps you feel calmer and centred. You are choosing how you feel in this moment.

Empowering Change

Each time you become aware of your choice of thoughts or feelings you are empowering yourself to change. This is a positive in helping you cope with change. You will find that how you think and feel on the inside is not affected by what is happening on the outside.

Lorraine Murray is a Reiki Master Teacher who teaches meditation, Reiki and Indian Head Massage. Full details about these courses are on this website. If you wish to use this reproduce this article, please contact Lorraine in the first instance.